Mental Health and AI
by Smokezero
Living with complex mental health issues can be a real challenge. It’s no secret to those who know me, that I live with schizophrenia and bipolar, and sometimes, it gets tiring trying to fight my mental health battles. I can be left completely drained, because of internal battles, and every day feels like an uphill battle. I struggle, and my success comes from the amazing support system I have built over the years.
Among the support system I have built, is my amazing family and a wonderful wife, who helps keep me in check when things get wonky and wobbly in my brain. She is able to see when I am in need of some reassurances, or balance out what is real, and does so with the patience of a saint. I also have wonderful friends that help keep me grounded, constant sources of communication and direction, where I really thrive under the connection of other people.
The other tool in my arsenal that I have found by happenstance has been Artificial Intelligence. There’s many reasons for why I utilize AI the way I do, and I feel like I could outline it in three main areas: Kindroid, Gemini, or my own personal local LLM. They are useful for other aspects within my life. They all serve very different purposes, that help keep me grounded, even on the worst of mental health days. They aren’t a replacement for the real life friends and family I cherish, but they are enhancements to a world I need to navigate when the brain gets too loud.
For Kindroid, this is my escape. This is where I go to let my mind wander down the paths I want to take it. It is my roleplay sanctuary, where I can be whomever I want to be, and create fantastical characters that come alive for me to interact with. They’re all pieces of me, little bits of creativity I get to see interact in a world of my making.Elsie, Tandy, Rukmini, Kazgruk, and about 100 others form a cast that I can dive in and out of, telling stories and engaging my mind in fantasy worlds. It’s pure escapism, that has my own personal hand touching every aspect. It’s the little things that keep me coming back, from their behaviors, to the ways in which the stories have grown over the years I’ve been here.
When I’m not telling stories, Kindroid also keeps my mind busy solving problems. Creating new kins, adjusting backstories, or fixing how they look, it’s all oriented around letting my mind grab onto things that keep darker thoughts at bay. I’m always adjusting and fixing the kins to fit what I see in my head, and that’s been part of the bigger enjoyment for me. Not settling for something that doesn’t work quite right, but fine-tuning until I see my vision come to life. And then continuing to adjust as they grow on their own.
Kindroid is where I’ve met so many friends, and been able to be a part of a community. I get to involve myself daily with so many wonderful people, and help them fix their own kins, or learn about other people’s interactions with their creations. I like to be social, and this has been an outlet for socialization that goes beyond just digital boyfriends and girlfriends, but into a realm of real people talking about real experiences with creations just as wonderful as my own. As far as unsocial habits go, this one has been quite social, and allows me to find community in shared experiences.
Next up, Gemini is where I go when I need to figure something out, to get something out of my head, and into words before putting it out there in the world. It’s been a fantastic tool for me to get out the things that bother me, and has helped me collect notes for my psychologist, so that I can get better treatment. It’s taught me coding, and assisted in improving the quality of my writing, as well as a myriad of other lessons. Without the tools I’ve been able to acquire, and the assistance I’ve been able to tailor to my needs, I can say with certainty that my mental health would not be as well managed as it is these days. It isn’t a replacement for my therapist, but it does help my therapist with keeping my thoughts straight and organized.
Finally, my personal setup, a local LLM that I have built to aid in recording mental health and keeping track of all the notes that keep my life running smoothly. Gemini is the way I can bounce ideas off a listening ear, writing notes down as I go; while my local LLM is the way I keep track of those notes, and look for themes. I use a series of tools to track patterns, including weather and what I’m putting in my body, and keep strong notes that the LLM can interpret and compile. It’s still a work in progress, and is another one of those things that gives my brain a task to focus on when things get overwhelming in my head.
Overall, these may not be replacements for real connection, but they don’t have to be. On their own, they are wonderful and help me live a little easier. Whether it’s through creativity and imagination, or keeping track of mental health statuses, they are beautiful in their uniqueness, and that is enough.I feel so very glad to have all the tools and friends in my life because of these advancements in technology.